How to make the most out of Lumpfish.TV

Here at the ugly fish site we are working on something extraordinary. We are not only going to have content for the latest shows and movies being released but we are going to give you the audience the chance to get yourself aired and possible a show. How we plan to go about this is by taking your submitted videos whether they are about, comedy, drama, sports, extreme sports, cartoons, mature cartoons, or any other category that I am forgetting about and we will have a month long vote on the best shows picked by your thumbs ups and thumbs downs. At the end of the month we take an unpartisan stance (even if we personally think the show or clip it dog $#!T) and place it as a category winner to where we then take a total of twelve in each category and you pick a winner on by voting again. Each categories winner is then placed against each other and finally the winner is picked around super bowl time. The winner will receive their own channel that gets advertised and they receive a portion of the profits of ad revenue and can add more clips and shows of their own or their own liking. The two runner-ups will also get their own channels that will be advertised and free for them to run and receive a smaller portion of ad revenue. This new tactic will bring talented individuals together to make for great and unseen content that is completely unique to lumpfish and will get young and old writers and directors out making their own forms of art for millions to see. With the ability to actually profit off of your creative ideas we should hope to also open new venues later on such as photography, music and paintings. This could lead to a great outlet for all artists and give them the chance to get the art to the masses.

Let’s take the net…..

Lumpfish TV is a movement where we set up top watched and rated programs from TV, Movies, and Music from around the world fed by you and where it can be streamed in high definition (720p at first). This site is developed to be similar to a torrent site yet there will be no need to upload more than you download or any such rules. The only rule is that you visit the site to watch the latest and greatest that the world has to offer. Imagine if a popular torrent site had a dirty one night stand with Youtube and nine months later they would have an ugly baby that they were both ashamed of, that illegitimate baby is Lumpfish.TV. Unlike Hulu we won’t stuff feel bad commercials that make you feel like shit because you are watching TV instead of saving a puppy or child or liberal agenda. The problem with streaming TV sites is that they start out free and sweet and then get greedy and want to charge you for gold memberships and pretty much take the place of you cable television provider. Netflix has a great HD streaming setup yet they now separated their streaming from physical disc mail delivery system. These people have all become greedy pricks and therefore must be one upped by a company with foresight and the overall hatred of swiping credit cards from anything other than boobies.  So how do we plan on providing this great service at no cost to me? Ok, we have to have some advertising but how we can do this is by having so many viewers coming t our sight that we will grab the attention to mainstream advertising revenue. We limit the commercial advertising to two per episode. One is before the video is streamed and one in the middle of the program (when you need to go take a leak anyways). These advertisements will be in conjunction with some that are on the page that will disappear when you full screen the show. So do us a favor and click on some of the ads so we can eat, thanks.

Lumpfishing is the best way to kill time

Here at Lumpfish we are trying to produce a site that takes all the shows and movies that you love and desire and place them on an open upload platform that lets you get the latest show as soon as it has aired. It seriously is a sweet way to enjoy all the benefits of cable without horrible local commercials and constant barrages of crappy commercials like poolu. We are looking to make a little money off our efforts so there will be some advertising but hey it doesn’t cost you anything except your self-respect because you are watching shows about people parting when you are not. We like money and we like to make it but we are hermit nerdy shut-ins that just use money to buy action figures and send them to our mother’s basement which we deemed as an apartment so we can save the little dignity that is left. We are setup to take uploads from viewers like yourself as well as upload media ourselves and any that is given to us with a big wad of cash. We are sort of like MTV in the fact that when we actually play a video you can rest assure that it was played for with large amounts of cash. Every once in awhile we will give prizes to those who bust nuts in order to upload massive amounts of original content. We would pay you but our attorney hasn’t given us the go ahead to do so do to the fact that we could fall into some sort of bind with companies that produce the content. We hope to see you enjoying the content on our site and in time we will become a nerdy powerhouse that will gain us local celebrity status. This popularity may actually get one of us a girlfriend and for that reason we work to build this site and clear our acne.

The ideology behind lumpfish.tv

The idea behind lumpfish was that we could develop a site that would bring media forms in and showcase and catalog them for future viewing by incoming visitors. The format is a little different in the fact that we are working to only stream high definition content and work to stream up to full 1080p resolution and thereby giving you the viewer the best possible picture quality. So far we have been working on doing this at no cost to the visitor as we wish to not have any membership fees or annual fees or anything of the sort. We want to keep advertisements few and direct in content. We have been watching our content through PC’s so much that when we do actually view cable TV we can’t believe the seven channel break between shows. This is a waste of time and adds to the waste of advertisers over exploiting content. If we can build up a big enough website view rate then we can pick one single advertiser for that week and be enough to pay for our site and salaries. It can be annoying if there is just one commercial yet it plays six times during your program and become a repetitive annoyance. For this reason we are working too switch up content and play an advertisement once per episode. This should keep your level of anger to a minimum as we look to find advertisers with relative content to a youthful crowd and not an AARP ad with a free offer for an electric scooter. The more we can build through social media campaigns the more we can get noticed by the ad agencies and become a fully functioning site with all the HD goodness you would expect for free and none of the crap that comes with other sites. Oh and ads that pop up during viewing will be killed with fire as these are one of our biggest pet peeves (youtube).

We are the ugliest fish in town

If you are like me, (which I hope you are not) you hate to see sites that offer free streaming video get lambasted by commercial ad nauseam. Many sites start out with maybe a commercial but it soon leads to an addiction and spread of more and more ads that causes a type of outbreak of commercial crap that throws irrelevant adds at you in the hopes that you will postpone the season finally of  Breaking Bad to go check out a top loading washing machine. These types of ads can be overlooked until you see that you need to pay for the sites plus membership or gold package that gives you the special ability to clear out your banking account even quicker. These types of tactics are the reason we work tirelessly to launch Lumpfish.TV. We picked Lumpfish because we are the ugliest fish in the sea of multimedia. The fact is that a website can make a very good amount of advertising revenue if the advertisements are simple and directed towards the younger views that are actually visiting. With this type of advertising we can also choose who we wish to allow advertising on our site thus giving us the power to annoy you if we want but we will stick to relevancy. The chances of us getting many visitors is great and thus we will use our powers wisely to not blow it with membership drives (Were not your greedy NPR station). The fact is that we are developing a site that we can personally enjoy rather and if we see it as enjoyable as we have a feeling you will too. And the fact that you won’t have to pay for a damn thing should start you off in an enjoyable mood. This will be an open type site that allows you to upload relevant shows and movies (nothing gross or illegal) and thus give you the freedom to check out new shows and movies with the movie rating only going to R rated not X.